108 quotes found
"Drehbuch: Mel Brooks, John Landis"
"Genre: Science-Fiction, Komödie"
"Erschienen: 1987"
"Hauptdarsteller:"
"Machen Sie in meiner Gegenwart das verdammte Visier nie wieder runter. Woher weiß ich, dass Sie mir darunter keine Grimassen schneiden?"
"Aber wenn es etwas gibt, was ich verachte, ist das ein fairer Kampf."
"Und möge der Saft euch niemals ausgehen."
"Affe1: "Was tropft denn der da aus der Nase raus?" Affe2: "Spaceballs!" Affe1: "Scheiße! Jetzt ist der ganze Planet der Affen im Arsch!""
"nach einer langen Reise durch die Wüste: Lone Starr: "Wasser, Wasser..." Dotti Matrix: "Öl, Öl..." Prinzessin Vespa: "Zimmerservice, Zimmerservice...""
"[in tiny print]: If you can read this, you don't need glasses."
"How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow? [Everyone On-Board: [raises hands; except one] Yo!] I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes! [lowers helmet] Keep firing, Assholes!"
"[Mr. Radar has just been "jammed" with raspberry.] There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: [pulls down helmet as camera zooms in on his face] Lone Starr! [camera slams into his face and knocks him out]"
"Now we'll show her who is in charge of this galaxy. [A soldier volunteers, but Helmet stops him] Hold it...I'll handle this personally. [Soldier: Jawohl, Lord Helmet!] So Princess Vespa, you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of Planet Spaceball. Well you were wrong. You are now our prisoner and you will be held captive until such time as all the air is transferred from your planet...to ours. [pauses, looking at the camera, then opens door, but finds nothing, then lifts helmet] She's not in there!"
"What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz?! Chicken?!!"
"Ludicrous Speed, Go!"
"[feeling the force of going at Ludicrous Speed] What have I done?! My brains are going into my feet!"
"Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with strawberries!"
"[ogling Dr. Philip Schlotckens' nurse] I bet she gives great helmet."
"1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"
"Commence operation [pause] "Vacu-Suck"!"
"You have the ring. And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how well you handle it."
"[To Lone Starr] I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
"Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted!"
"So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."
"Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago."
"[about the self-destruct cancellation button being out of order] Out of order?! Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!"
"Come back, you fat bearded bitch!"
"[After Barf, introduces himself, opening the emergency exit of the wedding car] Not in here, Mister. This is a Mercedes!"
"It's either the 4th of July or someone's trying to kill us!"
"We'll have none of that mister! How far did he get? What'd he touch?"
"Well... [sniffs] Goodbye, virgin alarm."
"Here I am! I'm sorry! I had to make a pit stop! I'm so excited that I couldn't hold my oil."
"That was my virgin alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do."
"[After beaming to the bridge, his head is on backwards] Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!"
"[Commanderette Zircon calls him on a video monitor in his bathroom] I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!"
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage! [Sandurz and Helmet look at each other in disbelief]"
"[Winded after running down the bridge] The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over."
"[to Dark Helmet] Never have that damn thing down in front of me! How do I know that you're not making faces at me under that thing?"
"[When the self-destruct siren is going off] Where the hell are we, Paris?!?"
"Sandurz, Sandurz! You got to help me! I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions! I'm a president!"
"One pod left and three of us, and I'm the president. Well, boys, it's a very lovely ship; I think you should go down with it. Goodbye. What the hell's the matter with this seat belt? AHHH! [finding a bear already in the seat]"
"Spaceballs? Forget it, too dangerous. Besides, I'm already numero uno on Dark Helmet's hit list."
"YOU listen! On this ship, you are to refer to me as "idiot," not "you captain"! I mean - you know what I mean!"
"Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time. [Pauses, reads script {off-screen}]...Yeah."
"[waking up on the desert moon of Vega and surrounded by the Dinks] ...Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland?"
"[Talking to Barf after King Roland calls them to rescue Vespa] We're not just doing it for money...We're doing it for a shitload of money!"
"[Talking on the Winnebago intercom to the passengers] Buckle up back there, we're going into..."Hyperactive"!"
"Listen, you royal...highness. Take only what you need to survive. [Later, we see Lone Starr and Barf carrying the whole 'Royal Highness' Matched Luggage' across the desert...]"
"You know something, Princess? You're ugly when you're angry!"
"Look your highness, it's not that we're afraid, far from it. It's just that we've got this thing about death; it's not us."
"I'm a Mawg. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend."
"[Indicating the suitcases] It's her royal highness's matched luggage!"
"Funny, she doesn't look Druish."
"[After Vespa blows away a group of Spaceballs] Holy shit!"
"Well, normally I would-- [tries to get up with his seatbelt still on] Oooh! That's gonna leave a mark."
"They've gone to plaid!"
"Nice dissolve."
"I'll have the cleavage, I mean the special."
"The s- That's what I ordered! Change my order to the soup! [Lone Starr: Good move.]"
"I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!"
"King Roland: Please bring her back safely! [pause] And if it's at all possible, try to save the car. [whispers] It's not insured..."
"King Roland: I'm breathing! Air! AIR!!!"
"Druidian Priest: Excuse me. I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love. Please be quiet!"
"Druidian Priest: We are here to join these two together in holy—MOLY!!"
"Dark Helmet, Skroob, and Sandurz: [watching Mega Maid vacuum up Druidia's air] Suck...suck...suck!"
"Captain of the Guard: You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"
"Colonel Sandurz: It's Megamaid! She's gone from suck to blow!"
"Colonel Sandurz: [After discovering Dark Helmet playing with dolls] No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!"
"Colonel Sandurz: Attention! This is Colonel Sandurz in forward command! Abandon ship! Abandon ship!"
"Diner Patron: Water, my ass! Get this guy some Pepto Bismol!"
"Princess Vespa: It's my industrial-strength hair-dryer, and I can't live without it!"
"Pizza the Hutt: Where's my money?!"
"Placemat in Diner reads: Spaceballs the Placemat; one of several references to film merchandising."
"Newsman: On a sadder note, Pizza the Hutt was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his stretch limo. Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car and ate himself to death. Coming up, Pongo's review of Rocky 5... Thousand!"
"Vinnie: [To Pizza the Hutt] Mmmmm! You're delicious."
"Princess Vespa: I'm not shooting this thing! I hate guns! [one of the incoming laser blasts singes part of her hair] My hair! He shot my hair! That son of a bitch! [Vespa proceeds to blast every guard Rambo-style]"
"The sign outside the church on Druidia first reads: "TODAY The royal wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium TOMORROW BINGO""
"The sign outside the church on Druidia later reads: "TODAY The royal wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium TAKE TWO""
"The bumper sticker on Spaceball One reads: "WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY""
"The bumper sticker on Eagle 5 reads: "I [heart] URANUS""
"President Skroob's sheet reads: "Spaceballs The Sheet"; yet another reference to film merchandising"
"President Skroob's toilet paper roll reads: "Spaceballs The Toilet Paper" on all the sheets."
"The license plate on Vespa's Mercedes reads: "SPOIL'D ROTT'N 1""
"The towel seen when Lone Starr and Dark Helmet fight reads: "Spaceballs the Towel""
"May The Schwartz Be With You."
"Once Upon A Time Warp In Deep Space, The Struggle Between The Nice & The Rotten Goes On..."
"Revenge Of The Schtick"
"OH NO! A SEQUEL MOVES!"
"Schwartz v.s Gremlins."
"Guess Who's Back?"
"Coming Soon....ish?!"
"Mel Brooks - President Skroob/Yogurt"
"Rick Moranis - Dark Helmet"
"Bill Pullman - Lone Starr"
"Daphne Zuniga - Princess Vespa"
"John Candy - Barfolemew 'Barf'"
"George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz"
"Joan Rivers - Dot Matrix (voice)"
"Dick Van Patten - King Roland"
"Michael Winslow - Radar Technician"
"Lorene Yarnell - Dot Matrix"
"John Hurt - Kane"
"Sal Viscuso - Radio Operator"
"Ronny Graham - Minister"
"Jim J. Bullock - Prince Valium"
"Leslie Bevis - Commanderette Zircon"
"Jim Jackman - Major Asshole"
"Dom DeLuise - Pizza the Hutt (voice)"