15 quotes found
"Man, staying at home is for chumps! You could shake the man's hand! YOU COULD TOTALLY SMOOCH HIM MAYBE. maybe not but still!"
"I collect power supplies like other men collect meaningful relationships! THAT IS TO SAY, AT THE RATE OF ABOUT ONE A YEAR"
"If you find you are not understanding my explanation for a joke, hit "F5" on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again."
"I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the original context of the joke was lost, which left the chicken sadly decontextualized."
"They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes."
"Good luck distinguishing which sign is the REAL sign when my entire front lawn is covered with thousands of little green signs - each with a different number! Ahahahah! I'll be EVERY address in the whole freakin' township! And what are you gonna do about it? Hopefully, NOTHING!"
"Don't worry, it's very clear that the painting was done by a human, most likely a human with one eye removed and a feverent if incorrect understanding of design and anatomy."
"Of course it's easy to get on public transit! It's public transit."
"I saw The Mountain Ghost last night and they were really good but also scary! Actually they are called the Mountain GOATS and do not feature scary g-g-g-ghosts. Luckily."
"I'm totally applying assumed Creative Commons rights."
"I'm suddenly worried people will think that I believe their religion can be summed up on four sex-obsessed sentences."
"You're supposed to whore yourself out! Nobody will judge you! ACTUALLY EVERYONE WILL JUDGE YOU THAT'S HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS"
"We're all already aware of boobies; it is the general state of most people in North America! THANKS, MEDIA AND THE MALE GAZE"
"Strange things in the neighbourhood (partial list):"
"Failure is just success rounded down."