Passions

"You can't give up on Charity, Miguel. Would Leonardo give up on Kate? Would Ross give up on Rachel? Would Bo give up on Hope?"

"[Kay has second thoughts about being good] Miguel is going to be mine no matter what I have to do! Charity, be damned! As God as my witness, I'll never be good again!"

"Esme? What kind of name is that? Forgot who I was talking to. To someone named Fancy, Esme actually sounds kind of normal."

"Is Ethan really my son? I'm not going to rest until I know for sure. Maybe there's a clue on the Internet."

"It's a sad day in America when the Cranes can't subvert government policy."

"[Luis and Sam have again accused Alistair of a crime with no proof] You'll have to excuse me. I've heard all of this empty huffing and puffing before."

"[to Alistair] Grampy! (repeated line)"

"[to Ivy] Hi, Mummy! I'm home!"

"It's hard getting a license when you're underage. Plus, I kept forgetting that the states have speed limits. In parts of Europe they don't, you know."

"[Fancy comes to a realization after Alistair's marriage to Theresa] Oh, my God. You're my step-grandmother!""

"[Noah insults Fancy] Oh, go suck an egg."

"[Noah suggests that it would kill Fancy if he were to sleep with Esme] Yes! No! Of course not, you arrogant boar. I couldn't care less who you sleep with, as long as it's not me."

"[to Esme] If you're expecting anything more from Romeo here, I wouldn't get your hopes up. He was just telling me he's not a gigolo."

"'Escort', 'friend', 'tour guide' - they're all euphemisms for 'gigolo', Noah."

"[disgusted by Esme's attitude towards Noah] This is sick! You're taking advantage of a poor schlub who has to help pay his father's mortgage and has to find even more money to help pay his whacked-out sister's therapy fees."

"[Esme can't seem to remember Noah's name] It's Noah! Remember? The ark? All the animals?"

"[Noah insults Fancy] You're a jerkface."

"Oh my God! I think it's the remains of Grace's tomato soup cake!"

"I'm paying you to represent the woman I love, not my wife."

"[prepares to leave Ethan's ICU room] Theresa, why don't you come with me? You don't belong here."

"[Chris has just shot the hitman] [to James] Sorry, sweetheart, the bad man's in heaven now."

"Not even the Internet can save us now!"

"[to Timmy] Do you remind yourself of anyone? I'll give you a hint. He was made of wood by a weirdo named Gepetto."

"What do I have to do to get you to admit what's going on here, Ethan? Walk in on you and Theresa in bed making love? What's she going to tell me then, huh? That she was just fluffing your pillows and just happened to slip underneath you?"

"Theresa, a marriage - I mean, a real marriage, between a man and a woman, isn't about one person's needs. It's about doing selfless sacrifices for one another, no matter how hard it is."

"Lucy Ricardo caused less havoc when she was smuggling cheese back from Europe!"

"What on Earth has you guzzling Martimmies at this time of day - and out of a shaker no less?"

"Blast that interfering next door neighbor of mine, Grace Bennett!"

"I've had enough of the Don King routine, Timmy. Do something with your hair."

"Oh the mortals these days! Using their Internet, email, cell phones, and text messaging, whatever the hell that is..."

"I've lost the only man worth dieting for!"

"[to Whitney] What do you think? If you allow yourself to have feelings for some guy, your arm will just fall off and you'll never play tennis again?"

"Seeing you like that, Pilar, reminds me of an old TV show. "The Jeffersons." You're moving on up!""

"Theresa is just like that little pink bunny, she keeps lying and lying and lying.""

"[about Edna Wallace] Oh, my God! Alistair rode that old Jalopy? Oh! And people say I'm depraved."

"[about Chad] Isn't he just the tastiest thing you ever saw in your life?"

"[Kay informs Simone that her "chest exercises" have paid off] Get real, girl. There's a lot more than exercises in that bra."

"Irma, I don't know where the hell you get these crazy accusations about Eve - that she had a baby with another man. Maybe it's because you're watching those crazy soap operas... the one that comes on after Days of Our Lives, but that's totally unbelievable!"

"You know what they say about denial: it's not just a river in Egypt."

"[Timmy speaks to a sleeping Charity] Timmy would lay down his life for you... if Timmy had a life to lay down."

"So Charity's like Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker combined?"

"[about Beth] "Strike her down now, God! Lightning bolts 'til she's good and crispy!"

"[to Sheridan] "Studies I've seen say the number one reason marriages are successful is because the two people involved have a lot in common. You have a lot. Luis is common."

"What's up, Julian? It wouldn't have anything to do with, let's see, a mysterious bird statue?"

"Well, we all remember where the bloody corpse dream got the family the last time."

"Let me out! I have a bride to bludgeon to death."