Mel Brooks

US-amerikanischer Komiker und Regisseur

72 quotes found

"Ich liebe es, in Los Angeles auf einem Freeway zu fahren und jemanden in der Schweiz anzurufen. Nicht, dass ich jemand in der Schweiz kennen würde, doch ich finde es unheimlich schick, dort anzurufen. Meistens nehmen irgendwelche Frauen ab, die ich nicht kenne."

- Mel Brooks

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""Lachen ist die beste Herzmuskelmassage, die es gibt. Ich bin mir sicher, dass manche Filme von Chaplin, Keaton"

- Mel Brooks

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"Lady, it rose below vulgarity."

- Mel Brooks

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"Who's the dummy writing this show?!"

- Mel Brooks

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"I was in the middle of shooting the last few weeks of Blazing Saddles somewhere in the Antelope Valley, and Gene Wilder and I were having a cup of coffee and he said, I have this idea that there could be another "Frankenstein." I said not another — we've had the son of, the cousin of, the brother-in-law, we don't need another Frankenstein. His idea was very simple: What if the grandson of Dr. Frankenstein wanted nothing to do with the family whatsoever. He was ashamed of those wackos. I said, "That's funny.""

- Mel Brooks

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"Comedy is a weird but very beautiful thing. Even though it seems foolish and silly and crazy, comedy has the most to say about the human condition. Because if you can laugh, you can get by. You can survive when things are bad when you have a sense of humor."

- Mel Brooks

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"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes."

- Mel Brooks

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"If they [presidents] can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country."

- Mel Brooks

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"To me, tragedy is if I'll cut my finger, that's tragedy...Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die."

- Mel Brooks

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"[explaining that Paul Revere was Anti-Semitic] He was scared they were moving into the neighborhood. "They're coming, they're coming. The Yiddish, they're coming""

- Mel Brooks

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"After I eat asparagus..."

- Mel Brooks

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"You know Cuneiform? You know Sanskrit? It's neither of those."

- Mel Brooks

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"Angel of Death ain't kissing me! I'm full of garlic!"

- Mel Brooks

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"It's Wheird, there's an H in there. Gotta hit that H otherwise they think I'm some sort of a kook!"

- Mel Brooks

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"[on ancient poetry] Nog Nog! Mkellen bebog! V'luch Matuch Maluch M'tog!"

- Mel Brooks

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"[on the greatest invention] Liquid Prell."

- Mel Brooks

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"No! You don't wear a hat on your gentles! You wear a hat on your head where you're supposed to wear a hat!"

- Mel Brooks

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"[On Churchill's Accent] "Ve must conquer da Narjies!" Now, we were fighting and killing Nazis. We all left and went looking for Narjies!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Max Bialystock: That's it, baby, when you've got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Max Bialystock: I'm wearing a cardboard belt!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Stormtrooper Mel : Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi Party!"

- Mel Brooks

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"LSD as Adolf Hitler: Heil Baby!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Lead Tenor Stormtrooper: Springtime, for Hitler, and Germany Winter, for Poland and France!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings! Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Hope for the best. Expect the worst. The world's a stage. We're unrehearsed. No way of knowing which way it's going. Take your chances, there are no answers. Hope for the best. Expect the worst."

- Mel Brooks

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"Jim "The Waco Kid": My name is Jim, but most people call me...Jim."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Good mornin', ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'? Old Woman: Up yours, nigger! Jim "The Waco Kid": [consoling Bart afterwards]: What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers … these are people of the land … the common clay of the New West. You know – morons."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Where the white women at?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Railway Worker: You shifty nigger! They said you was hung! Sheriff Bart : And they was right!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart [waking up a drunk Jim in jail]: Are we awake? Jim "The Waco Kid": We're not sure. Are we...black? Sheriff Bart: Yes, we are. Jim "The Waco Kid": Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Jim "The Waco Kid": Oh you know, play chess...screw. Sheriff Bart: (Quickly) Let's play chess!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up."

- Mel Brooks

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"Igor (limping off): Walk this way — and Dr. Frankenstein limps off after him."

- Mel Brooks

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"Dr. Frankenstein:: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags? Igor:: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban."

- Mel Brooks

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"Igor:: Sed-a... Inga:: Sed-a... Igor:: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dr. Frankenstein Damn your eyes! Igor (pointing at his lazy eye) Too late!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Josephus: I'm Josephus, and I'm the main course over at the Colosseum!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Count de Monet: [consistently mispronounced as "count da money"] Bearnaise? Bernaise: Yes? Count de Monet: Do we have any of those delicious raisins left? Bearnaise: You ate yours. These are mine. Count de Monet: Au contraire, they are mine! I paid for them! Hand them over! Bearnaise: [gives the bag of raisins to the Count, sotto voce, mimicking] 'Au contraire, I paid for them! They're mine!' [blows a raspberry] Count de Monet: Don't be saucy with me, Bearnaise! Bernaise: [mouths] Bitch."

- Mel Brooks

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"Count de Monet: It is said that the people are revolting King Louis XVI: You said it. They stink on ice."

- Mel Brooks

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"Impoverished Paris Street Merchant (Jack Carter): Rats, rats for sale. Get your rats. Good for rat stew, rat soup, or the ever-popular ratatouille."

- Mel Brooks

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"Other Street Merchant: Nothing, I have absolutely nothing for sale!"

- Mel Brooks

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"King Louis XVI: [prior to his arrest] It's good to be the king. [also used in Robin Hood- Men In Tights and The Producers [Musical]]"

- Mel Brooks

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"Tomás de Torquemada: It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull."

- Mel Brooks

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"Moses: Lord, I shall give these laws unto thy people. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?! All pay heed! The Lord! The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen- [drops one of the tablets] Oy. Ten! Ten commandments! For all to obey!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Madame Defarge: And now, let us end this meeting on a high note. [proceeds to sing a sharp high note, followed by the rest of the revolutionaries]"

- Mel Brooks

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"Jail Inmates: Eighty fff...Eighty fff...Eighty fff...Eighty fff...Eighty Six!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Excuse me, is this England?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet: I see your schwartz is as big as mine."

- Mel Brooks

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"Radar Officer: I've lost the sweeps, the bleeps, and the creeps! [Explains via vocal sound effects] Dark Helmet [aside to Colonel Sandurz]: That's not all he's lost."

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet : What? You went over my helmet?"

- Mel Brooks

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"President Skroob: What the hell, it works on Star Trek!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz... chicken?!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet [after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is "Asshole."]: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes."

- Mel Brooks

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"Lonestar: That's all we needed, a Druish Princess!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet : So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

- Mel Brooks

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"Ahchoo:Man, white men can't jump!!"

- Mel Brooks

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"King Richard: From this day forward, all toilets in this kingdom shall be known as...'Johns'!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Little John: Let's face it — you've got to be a man to wear tights!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Man In Front of Castle: Hey Abbot!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Townspeople: A black sheriff? Blinkin: He's Black?! Ahchoo: Why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles."

- Mel Brooks

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"Robin Hood: Watch my back! Achoo: Yo' back just got punched twice."

- Mel Brooks

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"Will Scarlet Blinkin, fix your boobs, you look like a bleeding Picasso."

- Mel Brooks

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"Blinkin Aaahhhh, you lost your arms in battle, but you grew some nice boobs (Blinkin gropes the Venus De Milo statue left behind after creditors take away Loxley Castle)"

- Mel Brooks

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"Robin Hood: Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with a English accent."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff of Rotingham King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Spiegel: Can you also get your revenge on him by using comedy?"

- Mel Brooks

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"He understands not only with his brain but with his heart. And that might be called love. Not quite sure, but maybe that's the key."

- Mel Brooks

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"Mel Brooks has all the consistency of Spike Milligan, the subtle self-censorship of Benny Hill, and the human warmth of Bob Monkhouse. It's a good job he has the brassneck and occasional brainstorms of Mel Brooks or he would be a monster."

- Mel Brooks

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"Mel is sensual with me. He treats me like an uncle — a dirty uncle. He's an earthy man and very moral underneath. He has traditional values."

- Mel Brooks

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"All the apprehensions that surface in Brooks's comedy have the same eventual source: a fear — or, to put it more positively, a hatred — of death."