49 quotes found
"[echoing line from Shaun Of The Dead] What's the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before?"
"This shit just got real!"
"[seeing Danny's film collection] By the power of Greyskull..."
"[after watching Point Break] I won't argue that it wasn't a no-holds-barred adrenaline-fuelled thrill-ride, but there's no way that you could perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork."
"(whilst chasing Frank Butterman) PUNCH-THAT-SHIT!"
"[after the village doctor is shot in the foot] You're a doctor. Deal with it!"
"Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll."
"[after stopping Danny's swan call] That's just going to scare it."
"[distracting Michael with a chunky monkey] Hey biggun'. Playtime's over."
"[after walking into Sandford with a ton of weapons and ammo on him] Morning."
"[after a farmer called Peter Ian Staker has phoned up about a lost swan] P.I. Staker... Right. Pisstaker! Come on!"
"Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "ahhrgh"?"
"[seeing the vast collection of guns] By the power of Greyskull!"
"[discussing why a person would wear a hat to cover his face] He's fuck-ugly."
"[while Nicholas is chasing a shoplifter through the supermarket, Danny is reading the taglines of the cheap action films in the half-price bin] Supercop. Meet the cop that can't be stopped."
"Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that, if you shoot it, it will blow up?"
"You're off the fuckin' chain!"
"[cue to hit the sirens and rev the engine] Bring the noise!"
""Do you want anything from the shop?" [repeated by Danny and Nicholas]"
"[After Nicholas corrects Danny's use of "policeman" to "police officer"] What made you wanna be a policeman-officer?"
"I'm a slasher, and I must be stopped!"
"I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts of secrets would come tumbling out..."
"Absolute tosh, wasn't it? It's annoying that the understudies are actually professional actors. Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs and Sheri portrayed a cadaver in Prime Suspect."
"My, my. Here come the Fuzz."
"[taking a ginger-haired boy hostage] Stay back! Or the ginger-nut gets it! [the child bites Skinner's hand and runs away] Ow! You little FUCKER!"
"GET! [punch] OUT! [punch] OF MY! [punch] VILLAGE! [punch], [while fighting Angel]."
"[after tripping and impaling his chin on the spire of a model church] Ooooow...Thith...really...hurtth.... I'm...going...to need thome...icee... creeeeeam...."
"Met. Sergeant narrating: Police Constable Nicholas Angel: born, schooled in London. Graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in Politics and Sociology. Attended Hendon College of Police Training and displayed great attitude in field exercises, notably Urban Pacification and Riot Control. Academically excelled in theoretical coursework and final year examinations. Received the Baton of Honour, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving and advanced cycling. Became heavily involved in a number of extra-vocational activities and to this day holds the Met record for the hundred metre dash. In 2001, he began active duty with the renowned SO19 Armed Response Unit and received a Bravery Award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown. In the last twelve months, he has received nine special commendations, achieved highest arrest record for any officer in the Met and sustained three injuries in the line of duty, most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas."
"Joyce Cooper: I hope you had a pleasant trip—fascist!"
"Reverend Phillip Shooter: Fuck off, grasshopper! [after being shot]Jesus Christ!"
"Sgt. Tony Fisher: [upon being presented with an obvious murder scene] Hang about, hang about... you're saying this wasn't an accident?"
"Sgt. Tony Fisher: [after Sgt. Angel lays out a plan of action] Very good. What he said."
"DC Andy Cartwright: You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village!"
"DS Andy Wainwright: Murder, murder, murder. Change the fucking record!"
"Sgt. Turner: [after Angel has arrested three underage drinkers] You really want to, process all this lot? My pen's runnin' out."
"DC Andy Wainwright: [after a bottle of bolognaise explodes in his face] It's alright, Andy! It's just bolognaise!"
"Michael Armstrong AKA Lurch: Yarp."
"Sgt. Turner: Oh, Sgt. Angel, someone from London called for you. [Angel turns to face him, he is literally covered in firearms all over his black suit, he has a tooth pick in his mouth] I'll tell 'em you'll ring em back."
"PC Doris Thatcher: [after knocking Tina unconscious with a 'Slippery When Wet' sign] Nothing like a bit o' girl-on-girl."
"Sgt. Turner #2: I dunno, nobody tells me nothin'."
"Tom Weaver: [while aiming a blunderbuss at Nicholas] You know what you are? A BLOODY BUSYBODY!"
"Big Cops. Small Town. Moderate Violence."
"They're bad boys. They're die hards. They're lethal weapons. They're the Fuzz."
"Bring the noise."
"They're gonna bust your arse."
"— Sergeant Nicholas Angel"
"— PC Danny Butterman"
"Timothy Dalton — Simon Skinner"
"— Inspector Frank Butterman"