21 quotes found
"[v.o.] Arthur Herk: one of the few Floridians who was not confused when he voted for Pat Buchanan."
"I say we blame this whole evening on rap music and too much violence on television."
"[After his son has just called him a loser] Okay, now it's my turn. Up yours, you little shithead. Okay, your turn."
"[v.o.] I had to outrun a plane and subdue two convicts with a nuclear [sic] weapon to earn Matt's respect. But it was worth it."
"[v.o.] We all go along day after day when suddenly a bomb drops into our lives. Sometimes you can't get out of the way. Sometimes it's a new beginning."
"[v.o.] What is it that brings two strangers together so that one soul inhabits two bodies? Sometimes it's profound. Sometimes it's Fritos."
"Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes."
"[to his boss] Morning, douchebag."
"I need a missile."
"Make her stop! God in heaven, make her stop! SHE WANTS MY SOUL!!!"
"[Whilst pointing a gun at three thugs who walk towards him while he is speaking to his employer on the phone] Not right now, okay?"
"[Whilst watching the chaotic goings-on at Arthur Herk's house] Moron #2 just got Moron #1 all wet."
"[Whilst watching the chaotic goings-on at Arthur Herk's house] There goes the warranty... and there goes the Iron Chef."
"Was that a goat?!"
"[Trapped on a delayed plane with idiotic sports fans after a surreal day in Miami] I really feel like killing somebody."
"[Opening the movie] God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the Earth is filled with violence because of them. You are to bring into the Ark two of all living creatures to keep them alive with you." [eats a Frito] In other words, life is hard, so you'd better find someone who'll be your partner. Eliot Arnold's story is a lot like Noah's, except Eliot's story takes place in Miami. [picks up another] You just can't beat these when they're really fresh. [eats it] Anyway, Eliot should probably tell you exactly what happened because I was locked in the trunk of a police car for part of it. My name is Puggy and I live in a tree... I hope I didn't ruin anything for you."
"Snake: [to Puggy] Next time I see you again, you're dead."
"Matt Arnold: Uh, Jenny's mom opened the door, and I came running up to squirt her. And then, uh, Mrs. Herk jumped me... jumped on me. And, uh, and then I went down on Jenny... or I f-fell on Jenny."
"Eddie: Let's get the hell outta here, Snake. I think I hear one of them silent alarms."
"Snake: [to the Russians] If you assholes try to call the cops after we leave, the next bullet goes through your head."
"Leonard: If we don't shoot someone soon, I'm gonna forget how."