14 quotes found
"Vanessa, you're a HOOTER'S girl?"
"Having a kid is great...As long as his eyes are closed, and he's not moving or speaking."
"I thought I had a mother lined up for him, but she's busy banging the Pepperidge Farm guy."
"The boy just won't quit peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel!"
"[drops a can in a supermarket] Dented cans are half-price. Microsoft went down 3 points. We gotta save some money."
"Nature called. Look who answered."
"Once you adopt a kid, you've got to keep him."
"Adam Sandler as Sonny Koufax"
"Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian McGrath"
"Joey Lauren Adams as Layla Maloney"
"Jon Stewart as Kevin Gerrity"
"Leslie Mann as Corinne Maloney"
"Rob Schneider as Nazo"
"Steve Buscemi as Homeless Man"