Beef

"When mighty roast beef was the Englishman's food It ennobled our hearts and enriched our blood— Our soldiers were brave and our courtiers were good. Oh! the roast beef of England, And Old England's roast beef."

"A tale without love is like beef without mustard: insipid."

"Who lives longer? the man who takes heroin for two years and dies, or a man who lives on roast beef, water and potatoes 'till 95? One passes his 24 months in eternity. All the years of the beefeater are lived only in time."

"I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit."

"Where's the beef?"

"About this time, I heard of a well known Hindu having been converted to Christianity. It was the talk of the town that, when he was baptized, he had to eat beef and drink liquor, that he also had to change his clothes, and that thenceforth he began to go about in European costume including a hat. These things got on my nerves. Surely, thought I, a religion that compelled one to eat beef, drink liquor, and change one's own clothes did not deserve the name. I also heard that the new convert had already begun abusing the religion of his ancestors, their customs and their country. All these things created in me a dislike for Christianity."

"Meanwhile, another Tabligh movement had arisen in Haryana under the leadership of Shah Muhammad Ramzan (1769-1825). “He found that the converted Rajputs and Jats… were in no way different from their Hindu counterparts in culture, customs and celebration of religious festivals… Shah Muhammad Ramzan used to sojourn in areas inhabited by such converted Rajputs, dissuade them from practising Hindu rites, and persuade them to marry their cousins (real uncle’s daughters which converts persistently refused to do). They equally detested eating cow’s flesh. To induce them to eat beef, he introduced new festivals like Maryam ka Roza and ‘Rot-bot’. On this day, observed on 17 Rajjab, a ‘pao’ of roasted beef placed on a fried bread was distributed amongst relatives and near and dear ones… Such endeavours ruled out the possibility of reconversion and helped in the ‘Islamization’ of neo-Muslims…”"

"When Araki accomplished the mission of converting people and training and guiding them in the new faith, he addressed the task of converting and guiding the womenfolk. Pious, puritanical, honest and trustworthy dervishes and sufis were selected and the task assigned to them. They were sent to all villages, localities and towns. In fact they reached each and every house. When they came to a homestead, they would get hold of the cow belonging to the housekeeper, kill it and sit down to eat beef in the company of womenfolk and family members. Along with this they administered the recitation of kelima to the womenfolk of the household, and taught them the basics of religion, the pillars of faith and the teachings of Islam. Distinguished vicegerents and sincere dervishes would enter the houses of aristocrats and the elite in order to administer kelima to them and make them eat beef. They would honour them by accepting their expression of repentance and make them promise that they would regularly offer prayers (namaz), observe fasts and other obligations. They also undertook to abstain from what was not permitted (in Islam). These special vicegerents and dervishes spread out in the suburbs of the towns and cities such as Pampur, Kani Pore (?) Shihabuíd-Din Pora etc. Men and women in these areas were apprised of what was permissible and what was not permissible in Islam."

"Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely."