21 quotes found
"[in a press conference] God knows I am a patriot. I loaned the country 400 Billion. And I want my 400 Million back. Does that make me a bad guy? I've got to eat too, you know! So I'm giving the President until the end of September this year to pay me back, or I'll be forced to foreclose. What can I do? I've got to eat too, you know! Does that make me a bad guy?"
"Everyone all across the country was watching the telethon. From what was left of New York, to the first all-gay state, North Dakota. All eyes were glued to their sets... [shot of men at stand-up urinals watching television] ...which in some cases, ruined a lot of good shoes."
"President Roosevelt was a successful graduate of EST, Scientology, TM and Primal Grope Therapy. And he was elected on a platform unique in American political history: "I'm not a schmuck!" Even though that was Chet's only campaign promise, it looked like it would be a tough one to keep."
"Lucy: [answering the phone at the Western White House] Hi! United States of America!... No, this is Lucy... Oh! Yes, Mr. Ambassador! I'll tell him you called!"
"Panhandler: Excuse me? Sir? Can you spare $25.00 for... for a cup of coffee?"
"Western White House Tour Guide: All right, people. Let's move it! Please, ma'am. No spitting in the hallway!"
"Mouling Jackson: [singing] Don't you ever say "No" to me / Listen, I'm a lady. Period. / Classy, too. / Won't you come over here / And I'll prove it to you / And then if you still don't think / I got style and grace / I'm going to oh, so gracefully / rip the lips off of your face!"
"The ultimate spectacle is now a movie."
"John Ritter - President Chet Roosevelt"
"Harvey Korman - Monty Rushmore"
"Peter Riegert - McMerkin"
"Fred Willard - Vanderhoff"
"Chief Dan George - Sam Birdwater"
"Zane Buzby - Mouling Jackson"
"Meat Loaf - "Oklahoma Roy" Budnitz"
"Elvis Costello - Earl of Manchester"
"Tommy Lasorda - Dunphy"
"Jay Leno - Larry Miller"
"Howard Hesseman - Margolis"
"Cybill Shepherd - Gold Girl"
"George Carlin - the Narrator"